how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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