So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
