I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
