READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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