Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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