He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
