NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
