We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
