i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
