I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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