Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
love makes seman taste better
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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