walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
