oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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