Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
