I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Everything about him screamed your future.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
