weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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