Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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