yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
