Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
