you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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