it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We need to rekindle our bromance
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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