is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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