Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She's the barista slut.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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