I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
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hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
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How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.