John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
