i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
