Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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