Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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