party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
