You really coming over, don't trick.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
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We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
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totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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