Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I love you.
Bad choice
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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