"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I can't put those talents on a resume
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
