Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
