Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
