Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
