I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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