if you like me you must not know who I am
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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