And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
