If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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