My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
