i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
