we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
