Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
