If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
