Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
