Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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