Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
