If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
At least life still wants to fuck me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
