sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
