I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
