So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just pee around me
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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