Swine flu. Run for my life!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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