I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
