Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
