so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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