For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
