you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
not ubering you a puppy
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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