CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
