If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
