My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
