Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
