You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
