ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize