we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
